Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Young Love

As I watch my oldest daughter, her eyes are downturned, she has lost the bounce in her step, her easy smile is a little less easy... I tell her she is allowed to be depressed, and try to focus on other things for now.

You see, she and her boyfriend just broke up.... probably for good this time... They had a 6 day break a couple of months ago which was heartbreaking to watch. But got back together to try to make it work.
But.... I believe this time it is truely over.

It brings me back to when I lost my first love.... DW... truely the first man I really loved. I was a bit older than she is... but I remember the pain... the loss, the dispair. Fortunately time heals all wounds and of course there were others as obviously I am married... but you never really forget. Its not just the person that you lose, it's the hope of a life together, all the plans you have for your life... children, travel, the white picket fence, the sharing of all the good times and the bad... that loss is just as hard as is losing the human contact.

I wish for her that I could make it better... that I could say something, do something that would make it hurt less... make it go away... make it tolerable. But this is something that no one else can fix.... she will heal... and smile and find some other boy that will make her head spin... but not now... she needs to grieve.

I think back to when DW and I broke up... I was crying to my mom .... AGAIN and she told me, that I was not dead, I was alive and had my whole life ahead of me and that I was grieving like someone had died.... and thinking back... it was not someone... it was something.... that hope for my future with him...

We have been in touch over the years... he is doing well... I still ask about his family... its easy now... friendly...
That is what I hope for her. They will see each other every day.. they are in high school together and he has one more year.. They are in the school play together... he the light, she on stage...

This too shall pass, the smile will come back and she will be herself again, with just a small part of her heart that is gone..
But that is the wonderous thing about people... our hearts grow larger the more we love...
Her sun will shine again..... I love you Melissa and only want you to Dance!!


  1. Morning Karen,
    Oh how I feel for your daughter....even though we say these things to our children and know what we are saying is's just not going to take away their hurt.
    We feel sad for our children when they hurt from their heart - I know we have all been there.

  2. I feel for your daughter and you. It hurts us just as much I think!